TWO CSI'S AND A BABY
by JOVANKA
Summary: HE'S AN EX-MARINE HOW HARD CAN BABYSITTING LUCY MESSER POSSIBLY BE?


**Two Csi's and a Baby.**

**Legal Stuff: - Not mine and never will be alas.**

**A/N: - Just something to keep us smiling in the coming weeks remember Smacked and Non Smacked fans alike if you want rid of this nauseating Mac/Peyton/Aubrey storyline ASAP then it's in all our best interests to keep the ratings falling! As always all feedback is welcome.**

"Waaaaaaaah" Lucy Messer wailed loudly.

"Aw Lucy please don't do that be a good girl for Uncle Mac" Mac Taylor pleaded with the sobbing infant.

"Waaaaaaaah" Lucy's screams had doubled in decibels at least in the last twenty seconds he decided.

"Mommy and Daddy will be home soon I promise" Mac scooped the crying child up from her crib in an effort to comfort her.

"Waaaaaaaah" Lucy continued her tearful sobs growing even louder.

"What's the matter Lucy eh?" Mac tried again "We've had a diaper change haven't we and I've fed you twice so it can't be that……"

"Waaaaaaaah, "Waaaaaaaah, Waaaaaaaah" Tears trickled down Lucy's face.

"I know Lucy why don't we call Auntie Stella? You like Auntie Stella don't you maybe we can get her too come over……"Mac slid open his cell phone and dialled her number "Please, please be home from work Stel" He prayed.

"Bonasera" A familiar voiced echoed down the line.

"Stel? Thank god it's me Mac……"He sighed happily, he'd never felt so relieved his entire life.

"Mac are you alright?" Stella asked her voice filled with concern.

"No far from it" Mac told her "I got conned into babysitting Lucy and she hasn't stopped crying for nearly forty minutes I know it's a lot to ask but can you come rescue me…..us I'm desperate?"

"You're not exactly helping your cause here Mac" Stella teased.

"I'll do anything you want double your salary you can have my SVU hell I'll give you my apartment ……absolutely anything please Stel I'm begging you….." Mac pleaded "Just name your price."

"I don't know….." Stella didn't even try to disguise her amusement whilst she toyed with him "This whole thing sounds incredibly sexist to me……."

"Waaaaaaaah" Lucy shrieked again.

"Ok….ok I surrender" Mac wailed himself "I admit it I'm just a weak, pathetic misogynistic male and you're a true Greek goddess amongst women and I'm not even fit to worship at the foot of your dress …..Now will you please come over?"

"Since you put it that way I'll be right there" Stella promised in between fits of laughter "Just give me five minutes."

"This is not funny Stel" Mac grumbled.

"Oh believe me Mac it is ……" She chortled "It is!"

"4 minutes 58, 4 minutes 59 …….." Strategically placed besides the Messer's front door and still holding the screaming Lucy Mac counted down the seconds to Stella's estimated time of arrival on his wristwatch "5 minutes exactly" He counted and on cue the Messer's doorbell rang.

"Stella….thank god" Mac opened the door and thrust the sobbing child into her arms "Please promise me you'll never leave me alone with Lucy ever again."

"Waaaaaaaah" Lucy added.

"Aw little Lucyloo what's the nasty man done to you" Stella cooed to the child who miraculously seemed to quieten down.

"What I've done to her?" Mac was incredulous as he shut the door behind them "I'll have you know that looking after that child is a nightmare she's teething did you know that? I've been bitten, puked, gooed and peed on" He complained.

"Yes I can see that" Stella nodded to his somewhat colourfully stained shirt "Why don't you go clean up whilst I look after Lucy" She suggested.

"Stella you're an absolute Goddess alright" Beaming Mac kissed her on her forehead and headed off towards the Messer's bathroom.

After stripping down to his black undershirt and cleaning himself up Mac headed to Lucy's bedroom in search of Stella and the little girl; the apartment was now blessedly silent apart from Stella singing a low sweet lullaby in her native Greek to Lucy. For a moment Mac stood in the doorway watching Stella who unaware of his presence continued to rock the child gently to sleep "Beautiful" He murmured to himself because he couldn't remember ever seeing anything quite so lovely ……Stella was lovely he wished with all his heart he could stay in this moment forever just watching her like this.

Tenderly Stella lay Lucy down into her crib and tucked the now sleeping child in snugly "Sweet dreams little Lucyloo" She whispered stroking the child's forehead.

"You are amazingly good at that" Mac told her from his vantage point.

"Shush" Stella placed a finger to her lips and tiptoed out of the room closing the door behind her and Mac.

"Well you are" Mac insisted as they settled down side by side on the Messer's sofa.

"Kids can pick up on how adults are feeling" Stella told him "Because you were stressed out it was making Lucy unhappy is all."

"That and your naturally good with kids and I'm not" Mac told her "Believe me Stel one day you will make some extremely lucky little kid a truly fantastic mommy."

"I'd love a house full of kids someday but I'd need to find the right guy first wouldn't I?" She eyed him up meaningfully "Anyway you can stop flattering me now Mac I'm here aren't I?" She chortled.

"Yes but now I need to make sure you stay here don't I?" He pointed out.

"Mac Taylor if I didn't know better I'd say you were terrified of a one year old baby" Stella grinned.

"Downright petrified would be closer "Mac admitted sheepishly "All the time I was in the Marines I wasn't this scared."

"I've seen you with kids at work Mac you are good with them" Stella re-assured him.

"Maybe…..I don't really feel all that comfortable around children I suppose" He shrugged "Never really have done."

"Is that why you and Claire never had children?" Stella asked.

"Yeah….." He nodded sadly "She wanted to after giving up Reed like that….. she wanted a second chance at being a mom."

"You didn't feel the same though?" Stella quizzed.

"It didn't feel right when Claire and I were together….not ever; which sounds awful doesn't I? I didn't want children with her, I kept thinking…..I hoped if I waited long enough then that would change and I'd want kids with Claire but I never did ….. the right time never came along and now there is no time at all is there?" He sighed wistfully.

"There's still time Mac your not quite ready for Shady Pines yet you know" She stroked his cheek affectionately.

"Oh I don't know about that ….." He shook his head forlornly "Like you I'd have to meet the right person first and what woman would want me to be the father of her babies anyway?"

"I….." Before Stella could continue Lucy's fussing could be heard over the baby monitor "I'd better go check on her" Stella scooted out of the room.

Two minutes later Stella returned to find Mac stretched out on the sofa sound asleep "I would Mac" She whispered gently kissing him on his cheek "I would more than anything."

It was the morning after their wedding and she was sleeping peacefully in his arms, Mac could swear he could hear his heart beating out the entire 1814 overture in his chest he felt so happy. Contentedly he gazed down at her watching her softly breathe in and out, marvelling at the first traces of the much wanted baby they had made together beginning to appear in her shapely body. "Good morning Mrs Taylor I love you so much ….." He greets her as her beautiful green eyes flutter open and Stella smiles up at him. Smiling he draws her closer to kiss her fully on the lips; she opens her mouth as if to reply with an I love you too but instead of Stella's voice it's Danny's that comes out.

"Mac…Mac buddy you gotta wake up now….." Danny/Stella insisted "Rise and sort of shine" Mac felt his body shake and suddenly Stella was gone, they weren't in bed on their honeymoon and he was for some strange reason caressing a blue fuzzy teddy bear.

"Hey Mac" Danny grinned down at him.

"Where's Stella?" Mac asked groggily from the Messer's sofa.

"She left just as we got here said to say she'll see you at work in the morning" Lindsay told him appearing by her husband's side.

"I should be going too then" Mac stood to leave.

"Err….Mac I think your little friend there belongs to Lucy" Danny indicated the toy Mac was still clutching.

"Oh….yes of course" Mac blushed and handed the bear to Lindsay before leaving.

"Please tell me you got a photo of that" Lindsay asked her husband.

"Is the pope catholic?" Danny chuckled showing her a recording on his cell phone of Mac snuggled up on their sofa fast asleep with the teddy bear "No prize's for guessing who he was dreaming about either" He smirked.

"……And it's the new kid on the block Don 'Lightening bolt' Flack gaining on that seasoned pro Mac 'The Marine' Taylor in the Nintendo NY40000 racing car stakes….." Flack used his control to make his racing car pass Mac's on the TV screen leaving the older man trailing behind "One more bend and we will have a new champion here folks who could have predicted such an unprecedented turn of events" Flack continued with his commentary on the computer game they were playing "What do you have to say about that Mac eh?"

"New champion yeah whatever" Mac mumbled half-heartedly a million light years away from Flack and the game.

"Ladies and gentlemen we have a winner" Flack announced somewhat deflated even though his car finish first on the screen.

"Good…..that's good" Mac tossed his controller to one side completely uninterested in the result of the game "We done now?"

"Yeah we're done" Flack sighed tossing his own controller to one side "You gonna tell me what's on your mind tonight usually even Adam can't beat you at this game but I just kicked your ass so something definitely aint right here……What's wrong Mac?"

"Nothing is wrong I just don't want to play games is all" Mac insisted.

"You invited me over remember ….. Specifically to sink a few beers and play Nintendo as I recall so if you don't want to do that what do you want then?" Flack asked mystified.

"A baby" Mac replied crisply.

"A baby?" Flack gulped "Ok I like hanging out with you Mac I really do your one of my best buddies and there is lots of things I'll happily do with you catch bad guys, watch football, play Nintendo, talk about girls but I draw the line at baby making I'm not that kind of Detective……no way no how…..not ever!"

"Not with you Don you dipstick" Mac groaned "With a woman someone incredibly special if you must know."

Flack sighed in relief "Thank god you had me worried there for a minute…… what's brought this on Mac? You've never mentioned wanting children before."

"You know that Stella and I were babysitting Lucy last week don't you?" Mac asked.

"I've seen the pictures yes" Flack confirmed.

"You and most of the NYPD if I ever find out who posted them on Face book then so help me god….." Mac rumbled.

"Not guilty I swear" Flack held his hands up "You know using Google is my limit anyway you and Stel where babysitting Lucy Messer….."

"We started talking about having kids and I said I'd never really felt ready to have children before….." Mac explained.

"…..But you do now" Flack nodded understandingly "You just need to find the right mommy to make them with."

"She….I've not been able to think of anyone or anything else since…..can we talk Don I think I could really use a friend's advice right now" Mac asked him.

"Babies and talking sheesh!" Flack rolled his eyes in mock horror "It'll be soft furnishings next."

"Don!" Mac groaned again.

"Ok, ok just tell Uncle Donnie all about it but I swear if you even try to braid my hair I won't be held responsible for my actions" Flack folded his arms across his chest "Understood?"

"Understood" Mac agreed.

"Mac Taylor of all people broody who would have thought…..spill it who's the lucky lady then? The woman you want to be the mother of your future babies" Flack asked suspecting he already knew the answer to his question and that she was called Stella.

"That's the problem I've come to realize that I've already found the one for me; someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, make babies with but I also know I can't have her" Mac groused.

"You mean Claire I suppose? Yeah I know how that feels" Flack assured him "I can't have what I really want either can I."

"No not Claire" Mac confessed "There is someone else I've become closer too recently…. Every time I'm near her the world just stops all she needs to do is be in the same room and I'm happier then I ever thought possible does that make any sense at all?"

"Actually it does all Jess ever needed to do was walk into the room and I couldn't remember my own name instant gibbering wreck that was me" Flack smiled sadly "You tell anyone that and I will shoot you."

"At least that makes two of us gibbering wrecks then" Mac agreed downheartedly.

"I didn't realize you where so serious about Aubrey" Flack quizzed suspecting the opposite was actually true.

"Please don't mention that name" Mac shuddered "I'm still having nightmares talk about a she-demon from hell I thought she was going to slaughter a goat at midnight at one point."

"Please don't tell me you where stupid enough to knock up Peyton? Even she who must not be named would be preferable" It was Flack's turn to shudder.

"Good grief no….." Mac gagged "…..And since we are on the subject why might I ask did none of my so called friends point out how freakin' awful she was three years ago?"

"We tried to Mac believe me we did…." Flack insisted "You still having flashbacks to that time in London?"

"Nothing my shrink assures me a few more years of intense therapy won't completely cure" Mac replied.

"Yep I always did think it was strange that since you were supposed to be on vacation with your girlfriend you holed up in a hotel room all on your lonesome" Flack nodded.

"Two hotel rooms actually…." Mac pointed out "…..Even then I had to push furniture in front of the door every night."

"Ok so fess up Mac who is she then this mystery woman…your dream girl" Flack tried to get Mac to admit the truth once again.

"That's just it that's all she is and ever will be a dream" Mac moaned miserably "I should just face facts she's a fantasy nothing more not now not ever."

"I know what you should do" Flack grabbed his note book from his jacket pocket and tore out a sheet of paper then he dug out a pen "Write it down everything you love about your dream girl her personality, how she smiles, what colour her eyes are. If we know who she is perhaps we can figure out a way that the dream can become reality."

"That is the sappiest, stupidest idea I've ever heard of" Mac complained.

"Well if you've got any better ones I'm all ears" Flack waived the pen and paper at him.

"Gimmie those" Mac grabbed them off him "I don't believe I'm doing this …. I'm a forty-five year old guy for goodness sake and I hate all that twilight crap."

"Just get on with it" Flack hissed "Do you want to make Mac junior with your dream girl or not?"

"You know I do Don more than anything" Sighing resignedly Mac began by writing 'Mac's dream girl' across the page then he began to list her attributes "Eyes…..Green eyes definitely" He murmured to himself biting the end of the pen.

"Finished" Mac called out twenty minutes later.

"Good maybe we can talk about something more manly then like knitting bobble hats" Flack teased.

"This was your idea Don but if you're not going to take this seriously" Mac went to tear the paper up.

"Ok, ok let's see this masterpiece of yours then Casanova" Flack rolled his eyes.

"I don't know how I ever got talked into this ludicrous situation" Mac grunted passing him the sheet of paper.

.

"Just you remember Don Taylor is a cool name for a kid……." Flack quipped eying the piece of paper up "Eyes: ocean green, Hair: golden brown curls….." He began to read out loud "Gorgeous even after working a double shift at the Lab, Smart, kind, funny, oh so sexy even knee deep in a garbage filed dumpster and brave she'd have to be to marry you….."

"She'd have to be insane to marry you" Mac retorted "Anyway there is more" He urged his friend.

"She's always there for you when you have a problem but never judges you, when ever your in trouble you just want to hold her, when she smiles your heart skips several beats and you could swear the sun sets and rises in her eyes" Flack continued "She is perfection itself …. She's your world and everything in it; you would die for her…..Aw you're a regular Shakespeare on the side Mac I'm filling up …..Bless!"

"So what do you think" Mac asked rather nervously.

"I think you know perfectly well who you have described here to a tee don't you Mac?" Flack asked him earnestly "You just missed out one small detail her name…….Stella Bonasera."

"I don't know what your talking about" Mac turned bright red and grabbed the piece of paper back of Flack "I knew this was a stupid waste of time" he fumed, screwing up the piece of paper he tossed it in the waste paper basket "I'm going for more beer then I'm going to kick your ass at Nintendo" Mac growled marching off towards the kitchen.

"Maybe….maybe not" Flack retrieved the discarded piece of paper from the waste paper basket then straightening it out he folded it up and slipped it safely into his wallet "You can't deny it forever Mac your head over heels for Stella always have been …..So we'll just have to see what your fairygod Flack can do to help nature take its course now won't we?"

Stella Bonasera climbed the last step to reach the shiny red front door and stretched out her hand to press the Messer's doorbell but before she could do so the door was flung wide open and Lindsay practically dragged her inside.

"You're late" Lindsay huffed.

"Only by a few minutes….." Stella began to explain.

"Six and a half to be exact…." Danny pointed to his watch.

"Alright then Six and a half" Stella shook her head bemused by their attitudes "Traffic was murder and since I am doing you two a huge favour baby sitting Lucy at such short notice a little gratitude would not go a miss ….What's wrong with Danny's mom again anyway?"

"Flu" Danny said.

"Food poisoning" Lindsay said simultaneously.

"Stomach flu…..vomiting, diarrhoea you know the drill anyway we have to go don't we Linds" Danny nodded towards the door.

"Sure do" Lindsay agreed grabbing their coats "Movie starts in ten minutes."

"Movie I though you were going bowling?" Queried Stella.

"It's a movie about bowling" Danny shrugged as he and Lindsay headed outside.

"Lucy is in her room she would like a good night kiss from her Auntie Stella" Lindsay called over her shoulder as she and Danny raced off.

"I only hope this crazy plan of Flack's works" Danny sighed as he and Lindsay sneaked their way to the coffee shop across the street "How long we got to wait anyway?"

"Just a little over five minutes till Mac arrives" Lindsay crossed her fingers for luck.

Left alone in the apartment Stella made her way into Lucy's room she found the little girl already sound asleep "Sweet dreams little Lucyloo" Stella blew her a kiss not wanting to wake her up; that's when she noticed it a certain somewhat now infamous blue teddy bear with an envelope pinned to it addressed to Auntie Stella.

Curiously picking up the bear Stella detached the envelope and opened it inside she found two pieces of paper folded over opening it up she realised it was supposedly a letter from Lucy although the handwriting looked suspiciously like Don Flack's "Dear Auntie Stel" She read out loud "Please can you help me with a problem I have. Uncle Mac is very unhappy because he is totally in love with someone who he thinks doesn't love him even though everybody else in New York State knows she does and so he's too chicken to tell her how he feels (I know it's so sappy but Mommy says it's a guy thing and they are all genetically programmed to be dim when it comes to us girls.) In fact he loves her so much that he told Uncle Donny (what a guy) he wants to get married, make lots of babies and grow old happy ever after with her. Please can you help him? He wrote down a description of his dream girl it's attached. Lots of hugs & kisses your little Lucyloo P.S. Uncle Donny is way cooler than Daddy isn't he?"

Carefully Stella switched pages to read the description the letter had mentioned this was written in Mac's distinctive scrawl and began with the heading 'Mac's Dream Girl' reading on a smile spread across Stella's features "Mac….. You moron I love you too" She whispered to no-one in particular then the door bell rang.

Stella opened the door to find the man himself standing there "Hey Stel" He greeted her a little confused by her presence "I'm sure Danny asked me to baby sit Lucy tonight……."

"He asked me too I think we have been set up" Stella showed him the letter she had found "I think you'd better come in don't you."

Seeing what was in Stella's hands turned him a peculiar mixture of red and green "Oh hell…..I'm so sorry Stella you were never meant to see that it was a stupid game Flack and I were playing" He spluttered desperately tried to apologize whilst following her into the Messer's den "…..And believe me when I catch up with him Don Flack is a dead man."

"A game is that all I really mean to you?" Stella voice trembled as she sat down on the Messer's couch.

"No….of course not you mean everything to me Stella" He admitted flopping down next to her "I just meant that you shouldn't take anything I wrote seriously it doesn't have to mean anything if you don't want it to."

"So I'm not your dream girl then" She murmured staring down at her feet forlornly.

"No….your my dream come true" He confessed, deciding he'd rather face her wrath then lie and continue to hurt her "It's ok though you don't have to do or say anything and I know we can't work together anymore Sinclair will have my resignation first thing in the morning but we can still be friends can't we? I swear I'll never ever do or say anything about this again."

"You'd give up your job for me?" Stella asked shocked "…..but it means everything to you."

"No you mean everything to me and I don't want to loose you even if we can only be best friends" He stated simply "I can always get another job can't I? I know you don't feel the same way about me and that's ok it's something I'll just have to learn to live with is all."

"Is that so? Then I guess there is only one thing we can do then isn't there" Stella declared her gaze locking with his.

"I guess so" Mac agreed his heart sinking.

"Three kids" Stella told him "I think we should have three kids."

"A boy and two girls" Mac added beaming.

"Twins Millie and Jessica" Stella grinned.

"They should have your eyes and curly hair" Mac grinned back, reaching out to cover her hand with his own.

"Mac junior should have blues eyes just like his daddy" Stella's finger's entwined tightly with Mac's.

"Stella Bonasera you are amazing" Mac pulled her into his arms "Truly amazing….." He whispered kissing her fully on the lips "…..And I love you."

"I love you too Taylor you dummy" She murmured breaking the kiss momentarily to shove him down onto the sofa "I always have now shut up and pucker up."

"Do you think the she's killed him" Danny asked his wife nervously as they hovered outside their apartment.

"It's been nearly an hour she must have seen that letter by now mustn't she?" Lindsay asked worriedly.

"Well I can't hear any blood curdling screams that's gotta be a good thing right?" Danny shrugged.

"This is ridiculous this is our apartment and Lucy is in there….." Lindsay opened the door "I'm going in we can't stand here all night."

"I'll just wait here" Danny blanched "Yell if you need anything."

"Men" Lindsay grumbled and walked into her home her first stop was Lucy who was still sleeping peacefully then she made her way to the den the door was shut but she could see a light underneath and hear what sounded like muffled giggling.

"What do you suppose they are doing in there?" Danny's voice came from behind Lindsay making her jump.

"Danny!" Lindsay yelped "Don't do that you nearly gave me a heart attack."

"Hey out there we can here you in here" Stella's voice called out to them.

"Now see what you've done" Lindsay poked her husband in the chest and called back "Brace yourselves guys we are coming in" then she opened the den door both she and Danny entered to find Mac lying on their couch Stella straddling him; both caught obviously in mid make out session.

"Hey guys" Mac greeted the Messer's happily "At this point I should say any photo's appearing on face book and I will fire both your asses ok?"

"Ok" The Messer's chorused in complete shock.

"Movie was a turkey then?" Stella asked disentangling herself from Mac to stand up.

"Something like that" Danny nodded.

"We should be leaving then shouldn't we?" Stella winked at Mac whilst simultaneously rearranging her clothes and hair.

"Yes we should" Mac almost bounded of the sofa his shirt hanging of his shoulders every button had been undone and apparently a fair few had been torn off to boot, his hair was mussed too "Can I give you a ride somewhere Stella?"

"You certainly can" She smiled.

"Right this way then" Mac quickly did up what remained of the buttons on his shirt and then took her hand leaving the Messer's watching on open mouthed as chatting happily Mac led Stella off into the night.

"You don't suppose do you that they….well you know got passionate on our sofa do you?" Danny wondered.

"Your guess is a good as mine" Muttered Lindsay.

"You get the Luminol I'll find a UV light" Danny said.

"You know I feel like a teenager again caught making out by my parents" Mac chortled remembering the look on the Messer's faces as he and Stella entered his apartment.

"So this has happened to you a lot then" Stella giggled "Tell me more about Mac: The Teenage years."

"I'd rather show you" Mac eye's narrowed in pure desire.

"Well we do need to keep practicing if we are going to make three babies now don't we" Stella practically purred into his ear.

"They do say that practice makes perfect" He rasped pulling her down onto his own couch.

"This is such a lovely big couch too isn't it? Plenty of room for certain strenuous activities isn't there…….." Stella nipped at his lips with her own.

"You said it Stel" Mac's captured her lips completely drawing them into a passion fuelled kiss "You said it."

**Finis.**

**A/N: Well done to everyone who didn't watch CSI: NY again last week your doing a terrific job it seems SVU more or less nobbled it according to the ratings and the latest rumours are that CBS are considering changes which could find CSI: NY moving to Fridays due to a 14% drop I'd say we are getting our message across loud and clear so keep it up. If Gordon Brown thought he was having a bad week it's nothing compared to Pam Veasey's! Tomorrow's episode (21) features Aubrey apparently for the last time this season let's see if the ratings can drop low enough to convince TPTB that their only option is to make it her last episode permanently. It's Stella we want or nothing and certainly not this sub-high school musical drivel. Remember you don't need to watch SVU particularly just switch the TV on and the sound off it still counts in the ratings once again very, very well done and keep the good work up.**


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